Former Reading manager Brian McDermott opened up on his battle with alcohol on national radio.
An iconic figure in Berkshire, the 61-year-old took the Royals into the Premier League in 2012 after more than a decade working at the club.
He recently revealed his battle with booze, and has been sober for over seven years.
Talking to pundit Jim White, and former player Fraser Franks, the former Leeds United boss opened up on his personal battle and how he's doing now.
"I had 53 years of it. I didn’t stop until I was 53. For me, it was always about filling a void," he told White and Simon Jordan on TalkSport. "I played at Arsenal and never felt good enough, I thought I was an imposter. Walking into that dressing room, I found it a really difficult environment. I found alcohol at about 20, had one drink and got drunk- that was my drinking story. I never really had one or two drinks, once I started, I didn’t stop. I could go long periods without having a drink.
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"We lost the play-off final in 2011 and I stepped over that red line. I probably drank every day for three months and didn’t tell anybody. The following year we got promotion and I remember waking up after going out until about 3 in the morning and I thought ‘is that it?’ I don’t feel any different. We were playing Crystal Palace and we had to win to win medals. I thought ‘make sure you win it’. We ended up winning the league, the lads get medals, and I feel no different. I look back now and think it’s really sad that I used to feel that way and nothing was ever good enough."
It was after his first stint at the SCL Stadium, while a scout for Arsenal, that McDermott decided to make a change.
"I was working for Arsenal, scouting, at the time. I went to an Arsenal game for a 1pm kick-off. I went to the boardroom at Arsenal, and I decided on that day that I wasn’t going to drink. I was going to ask the person serving me for a glass of sparkling water and he said, ‘do you want red or white?’ and I said ‘Red.’ I had half a bottle of red wine, got back to my house and I was supposed to go straight into my house, I ended up in the pub and was supposed to stay until 6, I stayed until 1 in the morning. I was supposed to go straight into my room upstairs and I drunk until 3 in the morning. I woke up the next morning, came downstairs and said to my wife ‘I can’t do this anymore, can you help me?’ She put her arms around me, rang a doctor and I’ve not had a drink since, seven and a half years ago."
READ MORE: Reading FC legend to give talk at Blue Collar Street Food
Almost a decade down the line, everyone connected to the Royals will be overjoyed to hear that he is 'a different bloke'.
COMING TO BLUE COLLAR CORNER.. BRIAN McDERMOTT 🙌 From highs of Premier League promotion to lows of the play off final defeat & anxiety, depression and an alcohol addiction - this is Brian’s story as you’ve never heard it before. In an intimate setting & followed by a Q&A, BOOK👇 pic.twitter.com/DKdQv5Xqjs
— BLUE COLLAR 🌮🍔🍹 (@bluecollarfood) October 10, 2022
"I’m a different bloke. As a football manager, it’s not joy winning football matches- it’s relief. You had a kick of adrenalin when the referee blew up for 20 seconds and you had the opposite effect when you lost the game. The winning, for me, was never as good as the losing was bad. I’d wake up the same way, win lose or draw, anxiousness. I didn’t want to feel like that anymore, and I haven’t felt like it since. I’ve not woken up once wishing I’d got drunk the night before."
Now touring to discuss the matter, he is performing two sell-out shows at Blue Collar Corner next month.
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