A CHARITY boss has revealed thought she was going to die at the hands of her violent ex-partner who cut her throat with a knife.
Stephanie Awbery, founder of the Berkshire Motor Show, said her life "flashed" in front of her eyes and believes she wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a knock at the door which stopped the attack from going further.
The brave 66-year-old, from Reading, is speaking publicly for the first time about surviving an abusive relationship in the hope of encouraging victims to seek help.
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This year the Berkshire Motor Show, held in Prospect Park on Sunday, July 2, will raise money for Berkshire Women's Aid which Mrs Awbery has described as being a cause ‘close to her heart’.
Speaking to the Chronicle, Mrs Awbery said: "I'm hoping speaking out will help. It will be nice to get it out there in the open, not only for women but for men as well."
Starting from the beginning, Mrs Awbery said she was in her 40s and living in Newbury when the abuse took place. She said the relationship was fine at first but started to gradually go downhill.
She said: “He started saying I couldn’t use the car to see family and friends and he started getting controlling over what I wanted to do."
Things quickly turned violent, she said: “I only had to say the wrong word and I started getting slapped about. I thought, ‘What have I done to deserve this? What have I said?’ and it played in my mind.
“It started getting worse. I was getting slapped about and I had a black eye. Other people saw my black eye but didn’t say anything – they wanted to keep out of it.
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“I had to go to the doctor once to wear a neck brace. He once pushed me out of bed and I hit my head on the skirting board.
In one violent scene, Mrs Awbery said she was pulled from a car and attacked. She said: “He once stopped the car in a layby on a main road and dragged me out of the car and put me in the backseat and slapped me about.”
But one of the worst incidents the charity founder could recall was when her ex-partner held a knife up to her throat, causing her to bleed.
“If someone hadn’t knocked on the door at the time I don’t know if I’d still be here,” she said. “When people say your life flashes before your eyes, it does, it was like flashing through images in a book.
“It’s not only physical abuse but mental abuse as well. Your mind is so jumbled up you just don’t know how to cope all the time through being manipulated.
“They say you’re not well and you start to believe it in the end. You start to think something is wrong with you.”
Mrs Awbery said she tried to leave a couple of times but was ‘frightened’ by what would happen.
Eventually, she was able to seek refuge at her cousin’s home and has since been married and settled down.
She said: “Now, looking back, I would have left sooner but hindsight is a wonderful thing. I didn’t leave because I was frightened to leave.
“I was naïve and never sought help as he made me feel petrified.”
Now, Mrs Awbery hopes that other victims will be able to make similar decisions and seek help.
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“Just get out,” she said. “Your life is worth a lot more than that. There is help out there.”
She hopes the show, that has been running for 20 years, raises as much money as possible for the Berkshire Women's Aid.
Entry is free to the event, which will run from 10.30am to 5pm, but donations are encouraged and the car park costs £2.
The show displays a number of 4X4 vehicles and a variety of different vehicles.
For more information, visit berkshiremotorshow.co.uk
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If you need help and support please contact National Domestic Abuse Helpline by calling 0808 2000 247, which is a 24-hour line, or visiting their website to use an online chat.
For a local service, click here.
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